Sunday, February 8, 2015

Lord I need You

Tonight I had our weekly YoungLife leadership meeting.

I think the bottom line; the ultimate factor that keeps me coming back is just how strongly I feel the Lord's presence in our ministry.

I do not think I've ever left a prayer meeting, or a leader meeting, or even a trip to iHop on Thursday nights with the entire group without feeling rejuvenated. I love feeling as if I have a place to belong, great friends, and a loving God to top it all off.

Tonight was no different. I left my meeting feeling utterly and completely helpless before the Lord.

But in a good way.

Tonight's little moment happened during our time of worship. It is such an amazing sound when there is just one singer, one guitar and a room full of voices lifting everything up to God.

We sang a few songs, and then we sang "Lord I Need You".

And my heart was flooded. I was overwhelmed.

But in a good way.

Everything that had been weighing on my heart I suddenly was speaking through a song.

I think it's crazy how songs can capture every emotion we are feeling but can't find the words to express. That was my exact experience.

This song put it all to words.

I have been feeling a sense of overwhelming failure in the past couple days. Mistakes I've made, ways in which I have turned from the Lord ~ just in all essence that I haven't been who I wanted to be. These mistakes -- and all the sins of the world are what draw us away from God -- a direction I have no intention of taking but somehow find myself here often.

Lord I come, I confess; bowing here, I find my rest.

I realized that I am further from God but here in the full surrender of my life I find the peace I need.

Without you, I fall apart; You're the One that guides my heart.

I recognize how badly I need a savior and how the ways of the Lord are the ways I want to model my life after. I need Him to direct my life.

Lord I need You, every hour I need you

I literally can't live my life without Him. I need Him every second of every day. Without Him, I am lost.

When sin runs deep, you're grace is more; where grace is found is where you are

When I mess up, fall short, and end up far from God -- He gives unending grace and mercy because of His love. I need to model my love for others after his merciful love for us. It is a concept I seem to never fully understand -- to love someone when they never fully deserve or return it back. But because that is what God gives us, I need to give to others.

Where you are Lord I am free.

Through the love that God pours out to me, I am set free. He removes the shackles that chain me down to sin and to the earthly life I would usually be stuck living. Instead, I am given eternal life because of God's amazing grace. Still haven't fully understood that one, either.

 When I cannot stand I'll fall on You.

This is probably the most accurate line to describe the way I feel tonight. I am overwhelmed with love but also the realization of how imperfect I am. I am thankful for God's grace and love for me; Even though I cannot match it, I still get to know love.

So tonight I'm thankful for grace. When I'm not enough (which is basically all the time) I still get to know love because of my savior.

Tonight I find peace in that.



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